Culture Shock: Part I

As a joyous holiday season comes to a close (here I owe a quick and cheesy thank you to all of my friends and family, you made this a perfect Christmas), I’m looking forward to a New Year’s Eve that yields a few memories than last year’s  hazy debauchery. I’m also packing today, and trying not to panic about leaving (on a side note, I’m also nervously biting off what little is left of my fingernails). Per usual, I draw comfort from graphs, data, and schematics.

Before I left for Slutty...I mean Study Abroad, a Student Orientation Leader showed us a graph that was supposed to explain Culture Shock. She assured us that most people’s emotions would follow a similar trajectory.

Two months in to Study Abroad, a friend, Caitlin and I were making travel arrangements back to Lima after sandboarding on the Southern Coast for a weekend. We were also discussing how, “we must be above culture shock because we’re totally adjusted to Peru” (see Step 1). In a novel, they would call this foreshadowing, because within the hour we were mugged in a church (see Step 2).

After being thrown into Culture Shock, I think we both made it through the following steps and are pretty sure it was the best six months of our lives so far (right, Caitlin?).

The culture shock diagram turned out to be pretty real. And now it’s a comfort , because I know almost certainly, I will feel all nine of the steps more intensely than I even understand right now. So this post will serve as a Part 1 in a nine part series I will write on my journey through culture shock. Actually, let’s be real, it will probably only have four or five parts, because there’s no way I’ll be motivated to keep a blog that long.

Irreplaceable

Thursday December 22^nd in my last day at Polypro, but I may still be answering my cell phone with "Polypro International, El speaking," for a while. I was hired as a temporary accounting assistant after graduation, but managed to earn my keep while the Peace Corps toyed with my emotions for several months. My departure has been inevitable since day one so it shouldn’t bother me that I’m being replaced.

As we speak, my superiors are interviewing a ginger named Stephanie with an actual accounting background. It's a good thing you can't see my face from the conference room, because I'm seething. 

Polypro and I have had a good working relationship. Despite having to field the occasional call from Halliburton, I've enjoyed counting money there. And I think Polypro likes me back. We're amicably parting ways as I go off to chase my dreams in Asia. I guess I’m happy that Polypro and Stephanie found each other. But honestly, I can't bear the possibility that they may not miss me.

I can hear Stephanie making our comptroller laugh. I’m quietly growling. Now the logistics person is chuckling. My ego can’t bear it.

So what if Stephanie ends up being a better accountant. I just don’t want her to be funnier than me.

Little Lion City

This is year PC training is in Sing Buri, Thailand. This is how you write Sing Buri in Thai, สิงห์บุรี. Sing Buri comes from the Sanskrit words for lion, Singh and town, Puri.  Around 20,000 people live in Sing Buri. As the travel blog, Planet Ware puts it, “Singburi, on the right side of the Menam Chao Phraya River , 74 miles north of Bangkok in the middle of the central plain of Thailand with its endless rice fields, is the junction of several important roads. The town itself has no interesting sights.” Below is a picture on an alligator entering someone’s home in Sing Buri.

And yet, I can’t wait to call Sing Buri home.

I Wait So Long

Occasionally, my creative side and my egotistical side team up to replace words in popular songs with lyrics more relevant to my life.

One of my better parodies was born the weekend I went fishing in Necedah, WI.

To the tune of Tom Petty’s “Free Falling:”

It’s a long day fishing in Necedah…

And that's all she wrote. Sadly, my creativity usually wears out long before my ego.

Today, inspired by a seemingly endless wait for staging on January 8^th, I took on the Trampled by Turtle song, “Wait So Long.”

I wait so long, I wait so looonnng. I wait so long, I wait so loooonnng…

…That’s as far as I got.

Please enjoy the real version.

Detroit Plans to Welcome Guests

Detroit Free Press  1912

January 8th I begin training as Peace Corps Volunteer in the Paris of the Midwest (a snarky nickname I usually reserve for Milwaukee). I wasn't looking forward to spending my last stateside hours in Motown, but I was reassured that the Motor City "will set a high standard of entertainment for tourists."

Losing My Religion

This isn't me, but I wish it were.

I had a sneaking suspicion Huy Fong Sriracha sauce wasn’t actually Thai. I guess I should have known all along. First clue:  the label is in Vietnamese. Second clue:  I never ate it or saw anyone eating it while I was in Thailand. Wikipedia, however, assured me that it’s an authentic Thai condiment named after the industrial seaport, Si Racha, I once drove through.

Before my suspicions were confirmed, it had felt fitting that the Peace Corps should send me to the home of my favorite food. I believed the Hot Sauce gods were rewarding me for once eating a whole spoonful of Rooster Sauce on a dare. “You are a true disciple,” the gods would tell me in a dream, “You belong in a PC country where you can continue to damage your esophagus with very spicy food.” Hot sauce is my religion-hot sauce and Star Wars.

Then I got the bad news. There is nothing like Huy Fong Sriracha in Thailand. According to some current volunteers, there may or may not be some other red chili sauce the masquerades as Sriracha, but it’s not like Huy Fong Brand bottled joy.

Now I have no choice but to fill every spare inch of my Thailand luggage with fake Thai hot sauce. #Paradox

This is so real.

Pan-Asia

As the holidays grow near, anxiety has replaced just a tiny bit of my unbridled Peace Corps enthusiasm. Missing two Christmases with my family- known throughout the upper Midwest for its strict adherence to Holiday traditions- is sad for me. Among other things, I will dearly miss the Langland Family Trim-the-Tree party, a trip downtown Minneapolis for Holiday dining and a parade, and Christmas day with relatives in Chicagoland.

To curb the sense of loss, I’m choosing to spend my “free time” at Polypro (my heart’s just not in guar gum these days) not thinking about the holidays but instead pumping myself up for Thailand. I’m making a list of all the places in South and Southeast Asia I want to visit. I mean, I also day dream about all the development goals I will realize as a Community-Based Organizational Development worker, but when I really want to get stoked I think about travel.

At the risk of sounded jaded, “Ugh, I’ve already seen everything good in Thailand.” Kidding. Any more excitement about returning to Thailand would probably make my heart stop.  But still, most of the sites on my Asia hit-list are elsewhere on the continent. 

Unfortunately after taking a Quantitative Methods class, I can’t even muse over travel without organizing my thoughts in Excel. So I made a spreadsheet with my top ten travel destinations. Then I put them here. 

1. Cambodia.

            Angkor Wat. The world's largest religious structure? Meh, sounds alright.

2. Indonesia.

           Bali. A must if you like sunsets and long walks on the beach.

           Komodo Island. I want to feed the komodos a flamingo.

3. India.

          Delhi. My aunt is moving here. I suppose I should visit while I'm in the neighborhood.

          The Himalayas. So far the Andes are my favorite place on earth. These mountains could top

          them. Pun intended.   

          The Taj Mahal. A classic Bucket List destination.

4. Vietnam.

         Halong Bay. I realized I wanted go here when I read it will be on a new list of Seven Natural 

         Wonders.

5. Sri Lanka. Hella exotic.

6. China.

        Beijing. I want to go to there.

        The Great Wall. Come with me, and bring a large memory card for your camera.

7. Philippines.

        Puerto Princesa Cave. So many of the new Seven Wonders are in Asia!

8. The Maldives. See them before they're gone.

9. Laos. 

         Buddha Park. I went to the fake Buddha Park in Thailand it was spectacular. Can't wait to see

         the real deal.

10. Singapore. I will miss chewing gum but it'll be worth it.         

       

Fellow volunteers and potential visitors, sign up here on my 
spreadsheet if you want to visit these places with me ;)