Showing posts with label Temple of Doom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Temple of Doom. Show all posts

Sunday, June 10, 2012

S.E.A.P.


"Why'd it have to be snakes?"

I scoured my whole pineapple stall today. Not because the old adage, “cleanliness is next to godliness” finally hit home. It was because I had another nightmare about snakes.

I had my first in a long series of snake nightmares, the week my Peace Corps invitation came in the mail. Once I knew it would be Thailand, I knew there would be snakes involved in my service.  Though I've only seen two live snake in Thailand my nightmares are along Raiders of the Lost Ark lines. 

I cleaned my house because there must be no place a snake can hide. It's now a compulsion that I be able to see every inch of floor space in my shed, so there's nothing left on my floor. There isn't a crumb to be found because crumbs attract vermin and vermin attract snakes. I live in the cleanest two rooms in Thailand.

There is a small gap between one of my window pains and its sills. I stuck a broom out the window to fill the space as an extra snake-deterrent.

My pathology has driven my eyes to to complete a full inspection of the bathroom every time I enter. I'm just now realizing how psychotic this is. I read somewhere that some snakes live in sewers and could enter a home through the drain pipe. The drain pipe is that first place my eyes scan before I enter my bathroom.

All this caution prompted me to wonder what I would actually do if I found a snake in bathroom or hanging out under my one piece of furniture. So yesterday, I enacted a Snake Emergency Action Plan or SEAP for short. It’s a work in progress, but here is the plan so far:

1. Scream
2. Run