Eff that SOT

I own this. Maybe some day I'll open it

In fourth grade I told people I wanted to be the Secretary of State. That dream didn’t die like my crush on Aaron Carter but at some point it was scaled back. The slightly less ambitious manifestation of my early career aspirations lead me to the Foreign Service.

Intrigued by any career that uses a multiple choice history exam to hire employees, I signed up for the FSOT (Foreign Service Officer’ Test). Consistent with my MO however, I watched movies and ate Kung Pow Chicken the night before the exam instead of studying. But around 50% of test-takers pass and thanks to AP US History and an essay question on energy policy, I was one of them.

I was more zealous about FS selection process before I was invited to serve in Thailand and my medium-run employment was secured. The zeal briefly returned when I passed the test but diminished again when I read the prompts for the Personal Statement (the next step in the application process). The prompts themselves are humbling reminders that I’m a 20-year-old accounting assistant with a just a bachelor’s and relatively little life experience. And they’re extra tough to write because the State Department really doesn’t want you to lie :P

I’m so excited to be doing what I love in Thailand for the next two years that it’s hard to be excited about writing a lengthy statement intended to weed out a lot of applicants. But I am excited by the thought of one day negotiating American and World economic interests abroad. And from the exam to diplomatic appointment, Foreign Service selection can be a multi-year process. This may be the best time to give it the old college try. The PS is due November 16^th so at the absolute earliest I will start writing is the 13^th (in the mean time I may write two to three more blog posts, because I don’t have to write those). And this may the round where I’m weeded out. But this is (kind of) my life long dream and I would be a great diplomat so I’ll let you know how it goes :) 

Mae Nak Phra Khanong: A Ghost Story

Trolling the internet today, I happened across a Thai ghost story. No, this is lie. I very deliberately googled "Thai Ghost Stories" so I would have something tantalizing for my Halloween blog post. What I found is a true story of love that endures beyond the grave (or for the sake of religious accuracy, crematory monument). It's worth noting, like any true ghost story this one has many variations. I pick and chose my favorite parts. So without further ado: The Story of Mae Nak (with footnotes).

In the time of King Mongkut 1 Siam waged many wars on the Shan people of Burma 2. During one such conflict Mak, the young husband of Mae Nak3, is called away to serve his King on the Burmese border. Nak is heart broken thinking her husband may not live to meet their unborn child.

After many months of bravely slaughtering Burmese4, Mak is critically injured and sent to Bangkok to coalesce. It is during Mak's stay in BKK5 that his wife dies unexpectedly giving birth to a son. Sadly, the news doesn't reach our protagonist and he makes his way home expecting to find his loving wife and child.

A film depiction of Mae Nak

Interestingly, that's exactly what he finds. Nak's "undying6" love for Mak won't let her soul move on. So Mak unwittingly settles into his life with the undead.

A busybody neighbor tries to warn Mak of Nak's metaphysical transformation but police records show she was burned alive in a unexplained house fire7. Mak's own mother-in-law drops by to tell him he's living with the ghost of her dead daughter, but  then she drops dead before she can utter the words.

Perhaps if  Nak had been able to keep up the charade, they all could have happily in limbo until Mak's own passing when they would be reunited in some kind of Kharmic, reincarnative after-life8. Unfortunately for all modern Thai children afraid of ghosts , one day Mak witnesses his corpse bride extending her arm through the ceiling into the upstairs bedroom to "grab something." Mak knows he's seen too much and devises a plan to escape. 

Wat Mahabut, the legendary
safe haven for Mak12

That night Mak bites the bullet and gets into bed with his dead wife one more time before excusing himself to relieve himself. 

The ghost of Nak knows Mak has run away but doesn't reach him before he jumps into a sticky Blumea plant9. Covered in Blumea sap, Mak runs to the only other place he's sure he's safe from his dead lover, the hallowed ground of a temple.

Statue of Nak at Wat Mahabut

Knowing she has lost the love of her after-life, Mae Nak returns to her village to...why else?..terrorize the town folk. The village is then plagued by illness and violence until a town elder suggests they call in a specialist...an exorcist10. 

The exorcist binds Nak's soul to the skull of her corpse. Here her soul will remain until an unsuspecting virgin farang visits Nak's shrine at Wat Mahabut, lights a black flame candle, and unleashes her vengeful spirit11

1 You may remember this venerated Thai leader from his unflattering portrayal in Rodgers and Hammerstein's beloved musical, The King and I.

2 Or Myanmar, depending on which dictatorship/occupation  you choose to validate.

3 Ms. Nak. Mae is Ms. in Thai.

4 Man, those Bumese cannot catch a break.

5 BKK is the cool way to write Bangkok.

6 Pun intended

7 No they don't. This is anachronistic and made up.

8The mechanics of reincarnation in Theravada Buddhism are fuzzy to me.

9 Fun fact: ghosts hate sticky blumea leaves.

10Cue Tubular Bells.

11 So, this last bit is based on Disney's Hocus Pocus. But the real versions aren't very scary. Thais respect her deep devotion to her husband and visit the shrine erected in her honor. She's like the Patron Saint of Obsession.

12Fellow volunteers, we're going here next Halloween

Telai-Ka?

When I went to Thailand in 2008, I learned about five words. I think karma is sending me back to learn Thai.

 I purchased Rosetta Stone, so now I can say things like, "airplane" and "the two girls are hopping," or maybe running- it's really hard to tell from the image. I am focusing on learning the numbers, though.

One of the those five words I learned was some kind of anglicized approximation of, "how much?" (as in, how much does it cost?) As a precocious 17-year-old, I would go up to every shop-owner or street vendor and proundly ask, "telai-ka?" somehow forgetting each time that I wouldn't understand their Thai reply.

So now is the time to nail down that counting thing, so when I order my firsrt Pad Thai in Bangkok I won't be that farang- farang is Westerner, I know that one too ;)

Deep In The Heart of Dixie

It will be along time before I see many of my relatives again so my dad and I planned a trip to Dixie to say goodbye. I got back from Clanton, AL yesterday via Atlanta.

 In Clanton one might hear a local say, "if y'all ain't got nottin' nice to say, don't say nottin' at all." Keeping with that spirit I will not say anything more about my time below the Mason-Dixon Line. Instead I will leave you with a picture of me, my dad, and King Cotton.

Thailand Underwater

As it starts to pour in Edina, MN, I reflect on my leaky office window, rejoicing Midwestern farmers, the price of corn futures, primarily though, I turn my attention to the flooded plains of my soon-to-be home, Thailand.

First and foremost I'd like to blame global warming, damn you global warming. After that, I don't have a lot of insight. Thais are frustrated with the national government's response.The new prime minister, Yingluck Shinawatra, has underestimated the scope of the floods at every turn, and according to her electorate, was not prepared to deal with the  evacuations, factory shutdowns, food security risks, and flooding in the capital city.

Not yet knowing what to think of Thai politics, I mostly consider the human suffering. 280 are confirmed dead while the economy and agriculture go into shutdown. There is potential for the situation to get much worse if the waters again exceed expectations as they move into Bangkok.

I don't have a take-home message for this post, but it would be difficult to understate this situation (thanks Harry Gabe for pointing this out) and my deepest condolences are with the Thais, still smiling as they confront story-high waters.

The following article and blog offer a good look at the dire situation:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/12/thailand-floods-2011_n_1007093.html

http://womenlearnthai.com/index.php/ayutthaya-underwater-bangkok-now-bracing-for-floods/

Photo I took in the ancient Thai capital, Ayutthaya.

Photo from Ayutthaya several days ago

Photo from Central Thailand borrowed from a current volunteer

ANTICIPA...TION

Sometimes I get so excited about leaving for  Thailand I can’t breathe and my body twitches with excitement. 


On second thought, that may be the coffee.

Nothing To Do Except See You

Yesterday, I took the US Foreign Service Officer's Exam, just for fun. Friday, I wrote my personal statement to send over to the Peace Corps staff in Thailand. I'm done studying and done writing, forever. Now, there is  nothing I have to do before January 6th.

Please call me. I want to hang out with [insert your name here] before I leave. We'll have a good time, I promise.