Caged Wisdom

Serving a "light treason" sentence in federal prison, George Bluth -the patriarch in my all time favorite TV show, Arrested Development- has a vision of the Star of David and converts to his understanding of Judaism. He then markets his new-found Judaic wisdom in a series of self-help video tapes. These Caged Wisdom tapes urge viewers to learn to be alone, among other things.

Before joining the Peace Corps, “aloneness” was my primary fear. There's nothing more horrifying then being alone with my thoughts. Actually, in my Peace Corps interview, when asked if I had any country preferences, I said I would go anywhere I didn't have to live alone.

And yet, here I am sixteen months later, relishing living alone in my panic room of an apartment. I've developed a variety of coping mechanisms. I watch hours of illegally-downloaded American television; I tame my inner monologue by framing it all blog posts and Facebook statuses.  It’s still overwhelming to have so much"self-reflection" time, but while staring out at an army of gregarious Thai neighbors, solitude is no longer my number one fear.

I’m still learning to cohabitate with my thoughts My thoughts are beginning to seem more like a friend who must be reigned in from time to time and less like an enemy that must be dominated through constant activity and social interaction.  I’m making peace with my brain.