In 6th grade after getting as good as I'd ever be at the violin without practicing, I decided to try my unpracticing hand
at the French horn. In the first week of 6th grade band I learned to
play Hot Crossed Buns. By Winter Concert I could play Hot Cross Buns and the few measures of the 1958 hit,
Tequila! (I wouldn’t understand the
exclamation after Tequila for several more years).
Tequila! Was the
first song in the set. I played a few bars and sat back to pretend to play for the rest of the concert. Actually, sitting
back might have been my first mistake, as this is not the proper posture for
French Horn playing. I would press the keys and inflate my cheeks
unconvincingly. While pretending to play I’d be distracted by the unlit scoreboard or a
sneezing parent. Then I’d go back to
making chipmunk cheeks for a few bars until I started fantasizing about the trumpeter
I had a crush on. My first visit to Sukhothai was a lot like my first French
Horn concert.
In Sukhothai, my soon-to-be coworkers drove me around in a
government van to meet every dignitary (and I use this word loosely) in
town. At each office, after I flashed a
big toothy Thai smile and wai’d like a pro, the Tequila! charade would begin.
My three minute Thai introduction was much like the first few notes of
the song, well-rehearsed but hard to listen to. My Thai elevator speech prompted
each administrator to turn to my counterpart for a Thai-to-Thai translation.
From then on I was bypassed in all my conversations. I sat back and listened as
the more competent people played the songs…I mean spoke Thai.
I would try to pay attention. There was a lot to be gleaned
from the 40% of my own resume I understood. Luckily I’m more motivated to learn
Thai than I was brass instruments. But there were so many things to look at,
things much more interesting than anything in the Sandburg Middle School gym.
For one, in the early stages of reading Thai, every word
is like a puzzle I must solve. It won’t surprise you to learn that I dig
puzzles. For me, all of Thailand is covered in the New York Times Friday
Crossword (Friday because I can only get about a third of it). I dare you to
conduct an interview in a room wall-papered in crosswords.
 |
| Strange Mountains in Sukhothai |
Then in the conversation I catch the word “gaan-ga-seet.” Oh okay, I know this
one…agriculture. I’m going to be working in agriculture. I focused my
attention on whichever unfortunate low-ranking official I was meeting with, smile and repeat, “gaan-ga-seet.”
Suddenly I’m in fine sixth grade form, puffing my cheeks
like a pro, feigning comprehension and interest. I fix my attention on the
Director of Informal Education but just behind are these weird round mountains
that just demand attention.
I think my PC Training Manager worried I might lack concentration because during me Placement Interview she asked me if I get bored easily. I wouldn't say bored. My own thoughts scare me but they never bore me. I told her no.
My band director probably worried the same thing but playing in the band never bored me either, I had plenty of thoughts to keep me busy while my classmates played instruments.
I've gotten a little better at covering my tracks. In 6th grade when everybody stood up to yell, "Tequila!" at the end of the song, (is this appropriate for middle school?) I just sat there stupidly realizing much too late I missed my cue. At the Office of Agriculture I zoned in just in time to give another wai and thank the officer very much for his time. And my character has developed some too. After the winter concert I quit band so I would never have to play in a concert again. After Sukhothai I went back to Sing Buri to work my ass off learning Thai so I will rock all future interviews.
