One Hundred Baht Challenge

My One Hundred Baht Challenge became my Hundred and Fifty Baht challenge Sunday, when I cleaned my house and found an additional fifty baht in change.

In a classic poverty trap maneuver I proceeded to go out and spend the fifty baht on my favorite food and frequent topic of conversation, Som Tam.

So I'm back to where I started and ready to report. In this weeks' episode of This American Life, John Hodgeman suggests have both a "heroic aspect and a declothed, humiliated, embarrassed aspect as well. My cash-strapped misadventures may well shape up to be a good story. Assuming I make it through the month, you may be impressed by my frugality and ultimate triumph, and amused by my self-inflicted poverty and depressing culinary options.

So in hopes this is indeed, one day, a good story, I'll take inventory but not before sharing this disclaimer: every day at work my generous coworkers feed me a well-balanced meal of rice and some other stuff. So I'm only left to fend for my sad-sack self evenings and weekends.

I'll also disclaim that several people have offered to bail me out this month Wall Street-style, including the Bank of Sharon and Elton Langland-with its very favorable interest rates. But I've gotten a number of bail-out packages through the years, mostly in college and maybe I'm ready to learn my lesson. Or maybe I just want the bragging rights to once having lived off three dollars for an entire month. Either way, I have thirteen days to go.

I've already finished off my small stash of fruit leather, granola bars, and a chocolate bar so here's what's left:

1/3 Jar of Peanut Butter
6 Packs of Ramen
1 Box of Kraft Macaroni
1/2 Bag if Wild Rice
1 Box of Quinoa
2 Bars of Dark Chocolate
1/2 Bag of Sweethearts
6 Cloves if Garlic
1/2 Bottle of Tapatio
1 lb. Coffee
1/2 Oyster Sauce
3 Packs M&Ms
Roll of Thin Mints

...and eighty Baht, not including the twenty Baht I need to get to the bank bright and early on the 25th.

Eavesdrop

Like most blonde pre-teens from the suburbs my sister, Claire and I couldn't wait to get cornrows during our 2003 Spring Break trip  Mexico. Claire and I were too shy to practice our mediocre Spanish with the less-than-friendly ladies braiding our hair, so we just listened in silence as they talked shit about us. Arguably their lowest blow was to Claire. My sister's stringy adolescent hair reminded one of the women of a cat's, "tiene pelo como un gatito" "she has hair like a kitten."

Eavesdropping can hurt! At the end of the braiding session, I indicated that I had probably understood most of the ladies' banter, by asking, in decent Spanish, what the total would be. At the time I was sure the ladies were mortified. They probably weren't.

Som Tam, or papaya salad. Let's talk about it.

Eavesdropping can be fun! Listening-in on people speaking another language yields the juiciest gossip; I make a point to listen in on everyone speaking Spanish in public places. It was exciting when I finally knew enough Thai to spy. I was sure I would gather licentious tidbits of people's personal lives. Not the case.

Recently on a long bus ride, I was picking up on a loud conversation from behind me. "...mai chop! mai chop leui!" "...I don't like it! I don't like it at all!" This kind of yelling conversation was what I'd been waiting to eavesdrop on since I got to Thailand. What doesn't he like? What inspired this kind of passion?. Is his lover cheating on him? Is this women next to him the mother of his unborn bastard child?

I didn't have to wait long to get my answer. The yeller's female companion fervently agreed that the papaya salad they had for lunch at the bus stop was not very good.

And this is as good as Thai-language gossip gets. Listening-in on to the locals, you will mostly hear snippets about things you eat with rice, because that is what people talk about. Spicy shrimp soup, green papaya salad,  fried pork, sweet green curry, this is what the people talk about. It's like Eleanor Roosevelt says and, "Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people; and Thai minds discuss food."

So if you're hoping to pick up some juicy foreign language gossip the next time you're out and about, I suggest you learn Spanish.